Food has held a complicated place in my life for as long as I can remember. It’s been a source of comfort, a means of celebration, and, at times, a cause of immense guilt. Like many women, I’ve battled with eating disorders for years, caught in the tug-of-war between the joy of eating and the crushing weight of diet culture. Through this journey, I’ve learned that the way we think about food—especially the concept of “Food Morality”—can deeply impact our relationship with eating and ourselves.
Understanding Food Morality
“Food Morality” refers to the tendency to label foods as “good” or “bad,” and by extension, ourselves as “good” or “bad” based on what we eat. A slice of cake might be delicious, but if you’ve internalised food morality, it’s easy to associate that cake with guilt, indulgence, and a sense of failure. Conversely, eating a salad might make you feel virtuous or in control. But why do we allow food to have such power over our sense of self-worth?
This moral dichotomy stems largely from diet culture—a pervasive system that promotes thinness as an ideal and equates health with strict dietary control. Diet culture teaches us that certain foods are “clean” while others are “dirty,” pushing us into cycles of restriction and bingeing, celebration and shame. It’s a mindset that can be incredibly damaging, leading to disordered eating patterns, anxiety around food, and a loss of trust in our bodies.
The Emotional Reasons for Eating
It’s important to recognise that our reasons for eating are often complex and deeply emotional. Food is more than just fuel; it’s a source of comfort, connection, and even escapism. When we eat to soothe emotions, it’s not a sign of weakness but a natural human response. However, without understanding this emotional link, we might find ourselves stuck in a cycle of emotional eating, where food becomes the primary way to cope with stress, loneliness, or sadness.
Emotional eating is not inherently bad, but it’s crucial to develop awareness around it. By acknowledging our emotional needs, we can begin to find healthier ways to satisfy them—whether that’s through meaningful social connections, creative outlets, or self-care practices that nourish us beyond the plate.
Letting Go of Food Morality
Letting go of food morality is a vital step towards healing our relationship with food. It begins with challenging the ingrained beliefs we’ve absorbed from diet culture and recognising that food has no moral value. A doughnut is not inherently “bad,” and a green smoothie is not inherently “good.” They are both just food—different in nutritional content, yes, but not in their moral worth.
One way to start this shift is by practicing intuitive eating, a framework developed by dietitians Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch. Intuitive eating encourages us to listen to our bodies’ natural hunger and fullness cues rather than adhering to external rules about what or how much to eat. It also emphasises the importance of satisfaction and pleasure in eating, allowing us to enjoy all foods without guilt.
Mindful eating is another powerful tool. By slowing down and truly experiencing our meals—the flavours, textures, and the way they make us feel—we can begin to rebuild a trusting relationship with our bodies. Mindfulness can also help us become more attuned to our emotional states, enabling us to differentiate between physical hunger and emotional hunger.
Food as Self-Care
Food is often reduced to mere sustenance or a source of guilt, but it has the potential to be so much more—a form of self-care that nourishes not just our bodies but our souls. Preparing a meal can be a meditative practice, a way to connect with ourselves and our needs. When we cook with intention, choosing ingredients that make us feel good and experimenting with recipes that excite us, we transform food from a source of stress into a source of joy.
Eating can also be a communal experience, a way to bond with others and create lasting memories. Sharing a meal with loved ones, without the burden of food morality, can deepen our connections and remind us of the role food plays in our lives beyond just nutrition.
Taking the First Step
The first step towards letting go of food morality is self-compassion. Be gentle with yourself as you unlearn years of diet culture conditioning. Start small—notice when you label a food as “good” or “bad,” and gently challenge that thought. Remind yourself that all foods fit into a healthy, balanced diet and that your worth is not tied to what you eat.
It’s also helpful to seek support, whether through therapy, support groups, or reading books on the subject. For me, connecting with others who’ve had similar struggles has been invaluable. It’s a reminder that I’m not alone in this journey and that healing is possible.
Embracing Food as a Tool for Self-Care
Ultimately, food is a powerful tool in our self-care toolbox. It’s not just about what we eat, but how we approach eating. By letting go of food morality and embracing food as a means of nurturing ourselves, we can begin to heal our relationship with eating. We can rediscover the joy of food and the pleasure of caring for our bodies, not through restriction, but through kindness and compassion.
So, the next time you sit down to eat, I encourage you to pause, breathe, and savour the moment. Let food be more than just fuel; let it be an act of love towards yourself.
